Simon H’s world beating gossip

“Today’s gossip is tomorrow’s headline.”
Walter Winchell
As I wondered to the pub that New Year’s Day morning, I checked my phone voicemail. “Hello mate, I’ve got some gossip that will top any gossip you’ve had since gossip began,” Simon H promised, and with that I called him back immediately, wondering what it could be – has he won the lottery? Has he split up with Lucy, his fiance? Has Jimmy Saville finally kicked the bucket?
And the news, when he eventually answered, was quite simply astounding, especially to those who have known Simon H, one of my closest friends, for as long as I have. I asked him to repeat it several times. I was so shocked, I had to hang up and phone back several minutes later to congratulate him.
What was the news? Oh yes. Here’s what he said.
“Hello mate. Lucy’s pregnant. 9 weeks gone.”