Dieting continues apace

By February 11, 20044 Comments

I’ve been on a diet for two weeks and all I’ve lost is fourteen days.
Totie Fields
I’ll be a lithe, athletic Adonis before you can say “two cream buns and seven flapjacks please”. Not only is there 2 to 3 sessions of rowing a week (that’s the sport, not the arguments – although many might consider that a sport…), but I’m now on the Kelloggs Diet. It consists of Special K for breakfast and lunch, and a normal meal at night. Within two weeks, you should see seismic shifts in your waistline. Most of my office have joined in, and the rows upon rows of milk and cereal in our staff room would give Vanessa Feltz a heart attack.
Clever marketing ploy, or genuine success? Well, I was sceptical. Until Natasha, a work colleague, lost one and a half stone in a month. Admittedly, I started 3 weeks after her, but the Wibbler waistline has barely budged an inch.
And now, after one and a half weeks of endless cereal bowls, I discover to my horror that I’ve been doing it all wrong. Eating after 7, apparently, is a no no. And seeing as I don’t usually eat at home until around 9 or 10 – and it’s never a small meal Chez Wibbler – this is a definite trouser-stretching issue.
So, a fresh cereal burst is in order. I feel fitter – I can now walk up the steepest hill in Guildford without gasping for dear life – but there’s little physical difference. Onwards and upwards.


  • Paul says:

    If it helps, I will start calling you “beanstalk” again to give people the impression that you are in fact as toned and slight as a “wafeer theen meent”.

    Did you know, everyone, that wibbler actually used to be a very fast runner??

  • Wibbler says:

    Ah yes, back in the day…

    100 metres = 12.5 seconds
    200 metres – 27 seconds.

    I remember once running against Roger Black, just before I ran for a surrey meeting. Every stride he took was double mine. it put me to shame.

    Not, of course, forgetting the shotput, where I still hold the school record of 13.5 metres.

    Perhaps I should scan in a picture of me mid-stride, as evidence.

  • Jac says:

    Paul, does this mean that when Wibbler and I meet up we are, wait for it……

    Jack and the Beanstalk……?

  • Wibbler says:

    boom boom tischhhhhhhhhhhhhh

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