An Open Letter to Dublin Trippers

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An open letter to those joining me on the birthday trip to Dublin
“Dear All,
It has come to my attention that plans may be afoot to compromise my wellbeing on our celebratory trip to Dublin.

I would like to make it clear that my parents are aware of the potential of their little son being harmed, and my mother is especially concerned. You will, in her own words, “have [her] to answer to”. She means business. My dad has also been a bit of a boxer in his time, and his fists will no doubt like to have a few words with your facial features should any lasting damage occur.

I trust you will bear this in mind as you tie me upside down to the front of a moving train.”