Unity Encounter

By November 27, 20025 Comments

I popped out after work in Monday night for a swift half in RSVP, a one-time overflowing bar in the centre of Guildford. After polling up at the bar for a drink, someone screamed just behind me: “Simon!”. I swivelled round, and my eyes descended on a girl called Unity, a sometime friend and sister of a school chum. I hadn’t seen her for 3 years; her family was the height of public school educated, moneyed society, and last time I saw her she had money and boys dripping off her.
“How’ve you been?” I enquired, as I settled down next to her and some friends for a chinwag.
“Well, I’m living in Guildford now,” she revealed. That’d be right, I surmised. I’d always assumed it would only be a matter of time before her parents bought her a nice flat.
“That’s nice, whereabouts?” I innocently asked.
“The hostel up the road.”
This was the first sign that things may have moved on a little in the last 3 1/2 years.
“Oh. Parents kicked you out, did they?!” i joked.
Oh. I tried a well-worn subject change.
“So, what are you doing with yourself?”
“I work in a nightclub in Reading. You should come and see me sometime!”
Why not, I thought. Ever the student, I asked about the possibility of cheap drinks.
“That would be a bit difficult. I don’t keep any drinks in my cage.”
Her cage. I feared what was coming. “I’m a topless bondage dancer, you see.”
Now, I’d known Unity since she was 6. Imagine the sheer horror that was crossing my face as I played with that little gem. And then multiply it by 10.
“Bloody Hell!” was the only comeback I could think of that vaguely suited the situation. Amused by my shock, she laughed out loud as she delivered the final, illusion-shattering blow. “Oh, how rude of me,” she said, hugging the two barely dressed, heavily built girls next to her. “These are my girlfriends. We sleep together. Are you single?”
Had I been 17, single and drunk, I would probably have jumped at the chance. But as the threesome started indulging in a spot of tongue tennis, I ashamed to say I feigned a slack bladder and ran. Ran as fast as I possibly could.


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