“Any petrol, sir?”
“No, just the newspaper please,” I replied, deep in thought about the morning’s upcoming tasks.
As I strolled out to my car, the early morning mist swirled round the forecourt, enveloping the car like a bandage. I noted that for once I was on time for work, and that I could have a leisurely drive into Guildford, and a decent amount of time to find a parking space. I drove off, and noticed the cashier waving at me. “What nice people this time of morning,” I thought, noting that at 7.15am, it was most unusual to find a person waving at you. As I eased the car into 3rd gear and raced onto the motorway, I noticed the pleasingly full petrol gauge.
The pleasingly full petrol gauge. Oh god. My mind screamed with the sheer illegality of what I had just done – filled my car up with petrol, and raced off without paying. I had passed 2 junctions before I recovered enough to attempt to find a slip road to turn round in. I had to pass the garage again in order to get back to the junction before, so I could get on the right side of the dual carriageway. As I passed, I saw two middle-aged men running around the forecourt, searching for the non-paying fugitive. Here I am, I thought, as I battled against the ice to get there before the police turned up in riot vans.
I finally entered the garage just as a burly security guard was dialling Constable Jenkins. The cashier explained as I handed over 43 pounds that she was just about to be sacked, and was very relieved that I’d turned up. In some roundabout and highly odd logic, I explained that I actually had done her a favour. She seemed very happy with that, and off I trundled, smirking at my audacity.
By then, of course, I was late for work.
Did you drive off in the right car?
No, I think it was the left one… BOOM BOOM
your an idiot. a very funny one though.
are we to take you ‘Simon Stolefuel’ from now on?
Very, very good. Most impressive.
It has been a slippery slope ever since the unfortunate and very amusing (although NEVER PROVED) non-paying incident in the tuck shop at school…Mrs P. would be proud…
YES! Wine gum anyone….?
You should have carried on and looking at your pleasingly full tank, thinking of how good your fuel economy was, LOL
full tank ?0
miles per ?1 – enuff.