The Father Shower

Simon H, as many of you will still be in shock to know, is about to become a dad. So, in accordance with strange birthing custom, the girls all had a “baby shower” last Wednesday night, complete with “coo”s and “ahh”s and big pink balloons. So, Simon H was sat home alone. An opportunity, we thought, for some surprise male bonding without any girls present, under the guise of a “father shower”. So 6 of us turned up unannounced at his house that night – a stealthy operation that couldn’t have gone better if we tried. Still, in true bloke style, we hadn’t planned past the “getting there”, and there we sat for the rest of the night, supping beer, watching television and giving presents (Jac and I gave a packet of condoms – “so it NEVER happens again”). Still, it was emotional – the last time we’ll see him before the little sprog drops…
Before I go, I should mention the trip home. Jac and I had popped into the baby shower to collect Michelle, and noted that a considerable foody spread had been laid out. So, we took advantage, and piled a couple of plates high with biscuits, smarties, quiche and more for the trip home. I stumbled back to the car, noting my balance was a little comprised by the four cans of Stella earlier. This balance was to rear it’s ugly head again on the drive home – just as we turned a particularly vicious corner in the road. Cue the plate of food toppling out of my grasp, spreading its considerable contents all over Jac and the driver’s seat, to the cries of “OooooHHHHHHAAAAAAAA, QUICHE!” We were in tears of laughter for a full five minutes as Jac picked smartie after quiche after smartie off his floor. He was stll finding them on his drive to work the next morning…